Yep, that’s correct! STILL no job. I truly am a human being to aspire to. HA! Okay enough of me abusing myself – here’s the deal. I’ve applied to about 130 gyms, all of which have yet to “call me back tomorrow” like every one of the deceivingly nice managers has claimed. Well, guess what? It IS tomorrow. It HAS BEEN “tomorrow” for the past 2 weeks now and I can’t wait any longer.

So what do I do? I decide maybe the whole you know, front-desk-industry is just BOOMING right now and there’s simoly no demand for college student rejects who have nothing better to do than sit around in a gym all day. It would make me feel better if I were applying to an upper-crust law firm for an internship, competing against hundreds of other applicants, and was denied. But no, I am applying for a job that an offspring of Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton could handle easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. I am THROWING myself at Curves, Ballys, New York Sports Club, Lucille Roberts, and more, just begging them to pay me minimum wage, give me miserable hours, and sit me behind a booth while I get to watch everyone ELSE work out.

So in a truly defeated fashion, I figure there is nothing else to do except to LOWER myself further. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, I started calling tanning salons.

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I did this for a few minutes, with no luck, until I came across a very attractive ad on Craigslist…

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You know you are desperate for a job when the idea of becomind an Egg Donor beings to seem like not such a bad idea! Honestly, is it NOT every mother’s dream to see their daughter (or gender-challenged son) become an egg donor? You don’t even have to graduate Magna Cum Laude or anything to qualify!

Just as I was about to call my nearest Egg Removing Specialist, I descended back down to reality and realized it was time for lunch. Sorry to be boring – but this homie needs to save a dolla, so it was taco left-overs for the second day in a row (and I’m loving it).

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I had a reasonable serving of Extra Lean Ground Turkey (couldn’t finish all of it) and a Trader Joe’s Tortilla.

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And an awesome side salad with mixed greens, diced yellow pepper, and some amazin CRAISINS – tossed with EVOO and a hefty amount of  BALS.

Hahaha…just kidding, I do not actually call Balsamic Vinegar BALS but I tried channelling my inner Rachel Ray and shortening it like she does EVOO, and well, you saw what happened. Sorry, I am immature. Here’s the big happy family…

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I also had a delightful glass of seltzer in my one and only Snow White cup circa 1996 McDonald’s.

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After lunch, I took a break from all the hard work I had been doing tirelessly all day and finished reading a really upbeat and positive book.

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Okay, maybe not upbeat or positive, and probably not a good book to read when you are already verging on being depressed (kidding) but it was an excellent, well written, and thought-provoking book.  It’s actually Mark’s but with the ridiculous amount of grading and reading he already does for the books he teaches, he has had no time to get to it.  So as usual, I read it, tell him how great it is, tell him he needs to read it, he agrees, and several months later realize he still has not read it, tell him to read it, but he has tons of work to do….yada, yada, yada. (Kidding sweetheart, you work very hard and I know you would read a million books if you could!)

In conclusion, it has been another extremely eventful and prosperous day as of yet, and all joking aside – I have come up with a major plan/career that I will be persuing in the following weeks. What is it? You’ll have to check back to find out…

-Case

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